Dear Liam,
The internet is filled with letters that moms and dads have written to their children on the occasion of their 18th birthdays. All trying to offer unique but worldly advice or something emotionally poignant. All probably failing a bit. Maybe this post is no different.
I was cautioned so many times in your life that it goes too fast. That you will grow up in the blink of an eye. I couldn’t disagree more, Liam. You and I, we’ve had 18 full years together. You are nothing like I expected when you entered this world 6,570 days ago. I never, never ever, could have known that this depth of love was possible. I never, never ever, could have known that being your mother would be so easy. I never, never ever, could have known that raising you into a young man could be so fulfilling, so fun, so full of moments. Every moment, Liam, every single moment with you was a gift to me.
The other day, you said to me, “Look at this perfect life you have created for me and Eamon.” And I want to tell you, my son, that it was you who created this for the three of us. Since the moment you were born, you’ve been on the top of my mind and the rhythm behind the beating of my heart. It has always been you that motivated me to keep going, to overcome, to forgive my mistakes, and carve out our home in this world; our space, our place, our piece, our peace. We have this life, Liam, because you provided me with the reason and the drive.
Many mothers tell me that they cry at the thought of their sons becoming adults. Not me, Liam. I will lean so deeply into my pride for you that I will never lose my balance. I look at you and I am so overwhelmed with awe that I can’t cry. I can only stand astounded. The breath catches in my throat. My tongue stumbles for words but they all seem inadequate. A smile tugs at the corner of my lips. My eyes light up and lift. You are my son and you amaze.
Liam, I love you with an intensity that you might not ever appreciate. And that’s ok. It’s a joy that brings me clarity with which I’ve never understood anything else. It makes my heart beat stronger, makes me breathe more deeply, and live more purposefully. The future belongs to you and while you find your way, my hope for you is that you always remember this. My hand will always be open to you. My spirit will always shine for you. My heart will always turn towards you. Happy birthday my baby boy. You are ready. Let’s go. ~mama