Twelve years ago a friend gave me a bracelet to mark the occasion of my moving to Virginia. Although it seemed a celebratory time, I was actually very scared. It was the (beginning of the) end of my marriage (although no one other than me knew that). I was leaving with my two young sons to live alone, start a daunting job, and build a new life for myself and my boys.
The bracelet is very special to me. It is a 36-inch thin wraparound that fastens with a small buckle. The brown leather is foil stamped with the following inscription, “You are Beautiful, amazing, unique, exceptional, fantastic, fabulous, wonderful, spectacular, one of a kind, special, awesome, extraordinary, talented, gifted, smart, courageous, strong, honorable, remarkable, indestructible, and you can accomplish anything!”
I wore it like armor. Young, alone, uncertain, and confused so much of the time, that bracelet wrapped around my wrist offered a constant reminder that I was not entirely lost. It might sound platitudinous to you, but those foil stamped words gave me a lot of strength. I wore it for years; at my grandmother’s funeral, during my separation, through my divorce, when my son enlisted, when my son graduated, on every gameday spectator sideline, most nights out, some nights in, for job interviews, and at every presentation I’ve ever given (and that, my friends, is a lot of presentations).
Not young anymore, I was still wearing it last week when it finally broke, slowly unwound, and slipped off my wrist. Like a dear friend departed, like an interrupted embrace, like a hand you stop holding, it simply let go.
And I was ok. Because while I am still alone, I am anything but confused or uncertain. And I no longer need to wrap myself in words to steel myself for life. Because now, I’m wrapped in an authentic confidence and calm that comes only from knowing how to step out on your own and thrive. I am lucky that the conditions of my life (the good and the bad), and the decisions I have made (the good and the bad), required this of me.
I loved that bracelet and I love the friend who gifted to me. I plan on getting another one (and you might consider it too). The company is called Good Works Make a Difference. But more importantly, I love the life I built through the positive validation those 36 inches of leather gave me for over a decade.
It might be platitudinous, but never underestimate what matters. I have a quote on my wall that reminds me, “Everything in your life has meaning, including you and how you live your life.” My wish for you is that you live as well and as fully as you reasonably can. Wrap yourself in the words that make it possible.
I would be remiss without saying, “Thank you, Theresa, for twelve years of constant support and encouragement. Your good works made a difference.”